Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Today's episode goes over 4 ways we can tell the difference between truly being honest about our feelings and being ungrateful. It reminds us that we don't have to fix ourselves before we come to God. God tells us to come to him, even when we are tired and carrying a heavy burden and He will give us rest. Music: "Adding the Sun" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Am I Just Being Honest or Ungrateful?
Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
I was working on my mentoring notes for this week. This month, I am answering commonly asked questions about finding joy in the struggle. One of the questions I am answering this week is “How do I know if I'm being ungrateful or just honest about my pain?” As I was working on it, I thought it might be something that we are all asking ourselves. I know when I talk to people who are struggling, I often hear them say, “I know others have it so much worse.” I think we need to stop saying this. I know it is true, and yet when we say it, we are minimizing our pain.
Our God is a big God. Our struggles don’t take away from anyone else’s struggles, and I think we all know that. The people we feel comfortable enough opening up to are not thinking that we don’t care about others’ struggles. They know us. They know we are thinking and praying for others. It is ok to ask for prayers for ourselves, too. It is ok to vent about our struggle, too.
I have also heard people say that they shouldn’t complain because they have so much to be grateful for. They should be more grateful for what they have and less upset about their struggle. I understand the sentiment behind this thought, and yet I feel that if we don’t express how we truly feel and we just keep stuffing down the feelings we are actually having, then we will explode someday. Also, God can handle our real feelings.
I don’t know who we think we are fooling, but God knows EVERYTHING. He knows your heart, He knows what you are feeling, probably better than you do. So, just be honest and allow yourself to feel all the feelings without judging yourself. You will be able to move through your feelings quickly if you don’t judge yourself and allow yourself to feel them all.
While researching the answer to this question I found 4 ways that we can discern the difference between being ungrateful or just honest about your pain
1. Honesty and Lament Are Not Ingratitude- Scripture is full of faithful people who loved and trusted God deeply—and who also expressed deep sorrow, frustration, and even anger. That’s called lament, and it’s not only permitted in the Bible—it’s modeled.
Examples:
David in the Psalms weeps, questions, and complains—even while declaring his trust in God.
Job curses the day he was born and demands answers—but God says Job spoke rightly.
Jeremiah (the "weeping prophet") says things like “You have deceived me, Lord” (Jer. 20:7), and yet he was one of God’s most faithful voices.
So if you're saying things like:
“God, this hurts.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Why aren’t You helping?”
“I feel alone.”
You are not being ungrateful—you are lamenting. And lament is a sacred form of prayer, because it keeps you talking to God rather than shutting Him out.
God would rather hear your honest cries than your fake praise.
2. Honesty says, “This hurts.” Ingratitude says, “God isn’t good.”
The difference is in your posture and direction.
Honesty keeps the conversation with God open, even if it’s messy. It still clings to some sliver of trust: “I’m hurting, but I know You’re still there.”
Ingratitude, on the other hand, closes itself off. It often sounds more like accusation or bitterness rooted in resentment: “God doesn’t care. He never shows up for me. Why should I trust Him?”
Think of it this way:
Honesty invites God into your pain.
Ingratitude pushes Him out because of your pain.
It’s okay if you’re frustrated, angry, or exhausted—but how you bring that to God makes all the difference.
You can be disappointed with God and still devoted to Him.
3. Gratitude and Grief Can Coexist
Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay. It means looking for God’s presence or goodness even when nothing is okay.
You can say:
“I’m so tired… but thank You for still being near.”
“This hurts more than I can express… but I’m grateful I’m not alone.”
“I feel lost… but I’m thankful for this one moment of peace today.”
Even the tiniest glimmer of thanks—a sunset, a song, a deep breath—can anchor you in joy while you’re still grieving.
In hard times, gratitude isn’t a feeling—it’s a habit of noticing the small ways God hasn’t left you.
Grief says: “This is painful.” Gratitude says: “And still, God is here.”
4. God Doesn’t Want Perfection—He Wants Your Heart
We often feel like we need to clean ourselves up before coming to God. But that’s not how He works. Over and over, the Bible shows us:
God meets people right in their mess, questions, and brokenness.
David ran to God with his tears.
Elijah sat under a tree and asked to die—but God met him with rest and nourishment.
Jesus wept at Lazarus’s tomb—even though He knew resurrection was coming.
God never says, “Come back when you’re grateful.” He says, “Come to Me, weary one. I’ll carry this with you.” (Matt. 11:28) We tend to forget this scripture. We tend to want to fix ourselves before coming to God. This is crazy talk. It’s like trying to fix a painting before bringing it to the painter. Or trying to fix your car before bringing it in to the mechanic. You may have some ideas of how to fix it, but they are the expert. They know the correct way to fix it and they will fix it so much faster than we will. Bring your mess to the Lord, let Him help you clean it all up. He is so good at that. He can heal broken hearts. He can heal physical ailments. He can do all things, all we need to do is ask. God is telling us “Come to Me, weary one. I’ll carry this with you.” Why are we trying to go at it alone when He is asking us to come to Him?
And here’s something beautiful: the very act of bringing your pain to God is an expression of faith. If you were truly ungrateful, you wouldn’t be turning to Him at all.
Final Reminder
Being honest about your pain is not the opposite of faith—it’s often the purest form of it. Gratitude and grief can walk hand-in-hand. And your vulnerability is not a failure—it’s a prayer.
God isn’t looking for perfect words—He’s looking for your real heart.
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening. Lord, we want to trust you. We want to bring all our struggles to you. Please help us! Please help us open up to you and let you know how we are really feeling. Even if we can’t be open with anyone else, Lord, please help us to be open with you. We love you so much, and we want to turn to you in our struggles. Please help us to be gentle with ourselves and to give ourselves grace. Help us to see the difference between being honest with you and being ungrateful. We ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’s holy name, Amen!
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. If you would like more info on finding joy in your struggle, I invite you to check out mentoring on Tuesday nights. It’s not too late to get in on this series. If you join now, you will get the replays for all the sessions that you missed in this series. Click on the link below to find our more about mentoring. I look forward to meeting you all here again tomorrow. Remember, Jesus loves you just as you are, and so do I! Have a blessed day!
Today’s Word from the Lord was received in January 2025 by a member of my Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group. If you have any questions about the prayer group, these words, or how to join us for a meeting, please email CatholicCharismaticPrayerGroup@gmail.com. Today’s Word from the Lord is, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given unto you.”