Proverbs 15:4 “Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” Today's episode is about the importance of our words. The can be used to build up or tear down. It also talks about how our children will live up to the expectations placed on them. Are we expecting amazing things, or are we expecting them to mess up? We need to be intentional with our words. Music:"Adding the Sun" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Gentle Words Bring Life
Proverbs 15:4 “Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”
We all know that our words are powerful and yet we don’t always pay attention to what we are saying. We should always speak with intention and pay close attention to our words. In my Encounter Ministry class we are learning the importance of our words. We are learning how to make declarations. I am sure I will share that information with you after I do this week’s homework. However, today I wanted to share the concept of a video we watched in class because it really was powerful. I will place a link for the video in the show notes and I encourage you to take a look a look at it. It is not a long video, just 2 minutes of your time and yet it is so impactful. If you have any doubt about how important words are, you should definitely watch the video.
This video is about an experiment that Ikea completed. At Ikea they believe that happiness is spread by how we treat people. That is why they went this extra mile to spread positivity. They took two of their own plants in placed them in GEM schools across the UAE. Recorded audio messages were played in a loop where one plant was being bullied and one was being complimented. The students started to notice that the plant being bullied was starting to wilt and droop down, while the plant that was being complimented was thriving. I think this is remarkable. If negative words can have that much of an affect on plants, imagine how much they can affect your children, your loved ones, your friends, co-workers, and all those you meet.
I chose this scripture because it tells a truth that although we might all already know, we don’t alway realize it when we are talking. “Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” This is especially true when you have children. Have you ever said something harsh to a child in a moment of anger and you just see their tiny little spirit get crushed? You didn’t mean to, you weren’t even thinking, you just reacted. We have all done it and it feels terrible. I am sure we all feel terrible when we just react in the moment and we accidentally yell at our children or say something unkind. However, what about the unkind word we said to the driver who cut us off, or the person in the store who took the last jar container of coffee? Do you feel bad about that?
I have talked before about how words can hurt people. That episode was called Words Can Wound. Today I want to talk to you about how words can build people up, or as this verse says, “Gentle words bring life and health.” If words of encouragement can help a plant to thrive, think of how much more they could help those around us thrive. If I was a betting woman I would bet if you are listening to this podcast you are aware of how hurtful your words can be. I think this is talked about a lot these days, which I think is good because that was not always the case. I don’t know if we talk enough about the importance of words of encouragement.
We all want our children to be successful. We want the to be happy and healthy. We want them to have a good job and we don’t want them to have to struggle like we did, or like others do. This is a good thing. Having expectations of our children is great. We just need to make sure our expectations are good expectations. Our children will live up to our expectations of them. If we expect them to succeed they will, if we expect them to fail, they will. This is why our words our so important. Our words become the thoughts they have running through their head. If we tell them they are capable of doing hard things, over time that will be the mantra that runs through their mind. If we tell them we are proud of them, they are good kids, they are responsible, those are the thoughts that will be running through their heads.
I think we sometimes accidentally put the wrong thoughts in our kids heads because we are worried for them. We don’t realize what our words might be saying to them. For instance, I read a book about parenting once and it said if you are constantly reminding your kids about everything then you are telling them you don’t have confidence in them to remember it. One thing that stood out to me was, reminding them every time they get out of the car to watch out for the car next to them. I was worried they would hit the car next to them with the door. However, they never once did and yet every time they got out of the car, I would remind them. When I did this it was showing them I didn’t trust them to remember what I said or I didn’t trust them to know how to get out of the car. Either way, it was telling them I didn’t trust them. When I would remind them to take their dishes to the sink a hundred times it is telling them they can’t be trusted to remember to do it. Also, reminding them to be good when they go to a friends house. I am sure you get the picture. Our words and what we say to our kids matters. The things we tell them all the time become the stories they tell themselves.
This can be for grown children too. If you are telling your grown children they should be doing this or they should be doing that, they may interpret this as they are not good enough or nothing they do pleases you. If you are reminding them of the same thing over and over again they may feel as though you don’t think they are capable of remembering it on their own. What stories do you want playing through your child’s mind? Decide now what stories you want playing through their mind and then be very intentional with what you say and how you say it. There is a difference between saying, “Great job saving this week! I can’t wait to see how much you save next week,” and “Don’t forget to save some money this week.” Which one do you think is more likely to encourage them to save more?
I know we all want our children to do well. I guess what I am saying is that nagging them and reminding them of all the things you think they might forget may not actually be helping you accomplish your mission. Instead, try to praise them for all they are doing right. Have high expectations and expect they are capable of living up to them. Trust they can remember things without a million reminders. Trust that what you have taught them has sunk in and you don’t have to constantly remind them. When you are correcting them for something remember this verse, ““Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” You children will need correction and guidance as they grow. Remember to be intentional about how you provide that correction and guidance. We want to bring life and health to our children, we don’t want to crush their spirit.
Dear heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening to this episode today. Lord, we ask you to help us be intentional with our words. Let us only use words that bring forth life. Let us only use words that build people up instead of tearing them down. Show us where we might be falling short of this. Help us to not let our anger get the best of us. Show us where in our lives we can be better about how we are communicating with those around us. Lord, help us to see how powerful our words are and let us only use our words for good. Lord, you are truly amazing and we are so grateful you are our dad. We love you and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’ holy name, Amen.
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. I look forward to meeting you here on Monday. Remember, Jesus loves you and so do I. Have a blessed weekend!