Ephesians 4:15 – “ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Today's episode reminds us of how important it is to speak the truth, even when it is hard. It also takes a look at Godly friendships and how this applies to our friendships. Music: "Adding the Sun" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Godly Friends Speak Truth, Even When It's Hard
Ephesians 4:15 – “ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
On Tuesday, I talked about Godly friendships and how they are faithful. Today I want to talk about another character trait of a Godly friendship. It is Honesty in Love: Godly friends speak truth—even when it’s hard. This is something that can be difficult for all of us. Well, maybe not all of us. We all know at least one person who does not have a problem saying that thing that needs to be said. However, for many, it is hard. I can think of at least two ways this could be hard. First, we don't want to hurt someone's feelings, so we refrain from telling them the truth. Second, we do tell them the truth, but we don't do it with love.
I struggle with the first one. I don't want to hurt someone, and so I don’t always say the thing I know I should say. Even though I am coming from a place of love, this is not helping my friends or my loved ones. For instance, it might be not very comfortable for them if you tell them they have spinach in their teeth. However, how much more embarrassed do you think they will feel if they find out by looking in the mirror at the end of the night? Also, sometimes we can see things about what others are doing that they can’t know because they are too close to the situation.
You might not want to tell a friend what you see in the way they are acting, but they might not realize how they are sounding or the effect of what they are doing. Sometimes, we are blind to the impact of our actions. Sometimes we can’t see that the job is wrong for us because we are so excited about it. Our emotions can cloud our judgment, and it is helpful if someone who is not emotionally involved can help us see what we can’t see.
Ephesians 4:15 tells us that we need to speak the truth in love so that we can grow, and our friendships can grow as well. I remember I felt embarrassed to tell a classmate in high school that her period had leaked through her pants. I thought she might be upset with me or I would embarrass her. However, looking back now, I am sure she was much more embarrassed walking through the hallways like that. If I had spoken up, she could have gotten a change of clothes before walking through the hallways, as we were in gym class when I noticed.
We do our friends and anyone we interact with a disservice when we are not honest with them. If we want Godly friendships, then we need to be a reflection of Christ to all those we meet. Jesus told people the truth, and yet he did it without judging them or condemning them. I do not think it is our job to go up to everyone we know and tell them when they are doing something God doesn’t agree with. I am not someone who believes that nagging our children will get them to do the things we want them to do. This is not what I am talking about.
However, if you have Godly friends and you are all trying to point each other to God and help each other be holy, and you see that one of your friends is doing something that could hurt their relationship with God, you can tell them with love. It doesn’t have to, and shouldn’t be in a way that hurts them or makes them feel shame. It can simply be a gentle shift in another direction.
I recall a story my mentor shared about when her friends came to visit. She went to pick them up at the airport and couldn’t wait to tell them all about the fight she had gotten into with her husband that morning. She was ready for them to join in and agree that she was right and he was wrong. However, they had a Godly Friendship. Instead of joining in with her in talking badly about her husband and agreeing that she was right and he was the worst. Her friends gently reminded her about her commitment to him and to the Lord. They reminded her of the kind of relationship she wanted to have. They asked her which was more important, her relationship or her need to be right?
They were not mean; they were not calling her out or condemning her for talking badly about her husband. They were just reminding her of the person she wanted to be. That is a great example of Godly friends. If you have a close relationship with your friends, then even though they may say something that might sting a bit, you know it is coming from a place of love, and that makes it easier to hear.
We all know those people who can’t wait to tell you what you are doing wrong. Their goal is not to try to help you get to Heaven. Their goal is to act like they are better than you or to make themselves feel better. If you have people in your life like this, they are not acting like Godly friends. Jesus had every right to act as if He were better than everyone else because He truly was. However, He never did. He washed the feet of his friends. If your friends are acting as if they are better than you, then they are not reflecting Christ to you.
I still remember when I was going through a hard time with my husband, I would think about how there were some things I didn’t feel I could talk to him about. Or there were some things I would be embarrassed to do in front of him. Then, one day, I got to thinking about it. This is the man that I chose to spend the rest of my life with. He should be the person I trust above all else. I realized that I should be the most confident around him because he chose to spend the rest of his life with me, too. He loved me, and if I couldn’t be myself around him, who could I be myself around?
These same principles should also apply to your Godly Friendships. You should be able to be yourself around them and know that they will love you anyway. You should be able to tell them the truth and know that even if they don’t like it, they will still love you for being honest. They will be grateful that you felt you could be honest with them. Speak the truth, and always do it with love!!
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you bless all those listening. Lord, please help us to examine our friendships and see if those friendships are honoring you. Please help us identify any friendships that we need to work on and any that we should let go of. Lord, please help us to be a Godly friend. Please help us to be a reflection of you to all we meet. Please help us to show more love and acceptance than judgment. We love you, Lord, and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’s holy name, Amen!
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. 7 more weeks until my retreat. It may be the last retreat in this beautiful location. You won’t want to miss out! It will be held at the Holy Cross Retreat House in Easton, MA. It is only $200 for one night’s accommodations, 5 meals, retreat talks, and fellowship! CLICK HERE to see all the details. I hope you can join us. It will be an amazing weekend!! I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. Remember how much Jesus loves you, just as you are,
and know that I love you too! Have a blessed day!
Today’s Word from the Lord was received in January 2025 by a member of my Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group. If you have any questions about the prayer group, these words, or how to join us for a meeting, please email CatholicCharismaticPrayerGroup@gmail.com. Today’s Word from the Lord is, “The devil would bind you if he could. But you all have the power of my word. Use it like I did in the desert.”