Today's episode is a bit different. I decided to play my mentoring session from Tuesday night as it was about Praying for our children and I know so many of us have heavy hearts for our kids. We wonder how we can help them when they don't want our help. Prayer is how we help them. We pray for them and God does all the heavy lifting. I hope you enjoy it and I hope you find at least one new way to pray or specific thing to pray for when praying for your children, young or old. Music:"Adding the Sun" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Mentoring Week #11 How to pray for your children (CLICK HERE for info on mentoring)
Welcome to this week’s Mentoring Session! Tonight I will talk about how to pray for your children. If you do not have children, you can use these suggestions to pray for nieces and nephews. your friend’s children, or all the children of the world. All children need our prayers. We can see how badly our own children or those close to us need prayers. Now, imagine they didn’t have anyone praying for them. There are so many children out there who have no one praying for them. Tonight, I will start with our kids, or those close to us, because I know many of our hearts our heavy with worry for our children.
First, let me begin by saying there is no right or wrong way to pray for your children. What I will be doing today is going over several things I have learned over the years while searching for various ways to pray for my boys. I have three boys who are 15, 18 & 19 right now. They are all stable compared to where they have been in the past, yet they could still all use prayers. I have learned over the years not to worry about them too much as I know God is looking out for them. This trust has come through growing closer to the Lord and also through counseling.
I say counseling because sometimes you need someone else to point things out to you. When my boys were younger I would stress about their future. One of them was physically abusive towards family members and I would worry that would mean he would be an abusive husband and dad. I had another son that did many unsafe behaviors and I was worried he would accidentally kill himself. You can see how that would be pretty stressful. I had a counselor who explained to me that it doesn’t do any good to worry about the future because so much could happen between now and then.
For instance, at the time, it would be at least seven years or more before my boys were adults. She said a lot can happen in those seven years. They could grow out of the behavior, get help for the behavior, or have someone come into their lives and change. Basically, why worry about something that may never happen? At the same time as I was learning this, I was also learning to trust the Lord more. When I let what my counselor was telling me really sink in and then I also realized God loves my boys more than I ever could imagine, I was finally able to release almost all the worry that I have for my children. It was truly freeing and I pray each of you listening learns how to turn your worry over to God and release it. If you want help, let me know.
Now, just because I don’t worry about my children’s futures doesn’t mean I am not praying for them. I am still praying for them and for the things I would like to see happen in their lives. Tony and I wrote a prayer for the boys about two years ago. We said it daily for a week or two, and then I said it on my own for a bit, and then we slowly forgot about it. I found the prayer the other day and looked through it to see if any of the things we prayed for had come true yet. Almost all of the prayers had been answered. We have seen many positive changes in the boys and many of them were listed in our prayer. I hope you can see the power of our prayers for our children. When we ask, God answers. So start asking specifically what you would like to see.
I am a big believer in praying specifically because then God gets all the more glory. It is much easier to see when God has answered a specific prayer than a generic prayer. For instance, if you are praying for your kid's behavior to get better, what is the measurement of better? How will you know if it is better, especially if the improvement is there, but small and you are around it all day? How about if you prayed that your child would go a whole hour or a whole day without doing a certain behavior? Then would you notice if that prayer was answered? What about praying that your child would make a really good friend at school? Would you know when that prayer was answered? Do you get what I am saying? The more specific we are with our prayers, the more we will be able to praise God when He answers them.
I also strongly believe that we should write down our prayer requests—not just those for our kids but those others have asked us to pray for as well. When we write down our prayers, we have a record of all the things we ask God for, and then, if we periodically go through the book we wrote them down in, we can see all the prayers He has answered for us. This is extremely helpful when we are going through a really hard time. When we are struggling, and it feels like God isn’t answering any of our prayers, we can look through our book or prayers and see all the ones He has answered for us in the past. Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” If He did it before He will do it again.
A few years ago, I started a notebook with prayer requests in it. When I write a prayer request in the book, I leave several blank lines before I write the next request. These blank lines are so that I can go and update the request with a praise report when it is answered. I also highlight all the requests that have been answered so I can go back and look at them whenever I need to be reminded that God answers prayers. I also look back when I am feeling down and need a little pick me up.
Now that you know being specific in your prayers and writing down your prayer requests is important let's discuss specific prayer points. (SLIDE) I read a book called The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian. This book really opened my eyes to the various things we can pray for our children. She prayed very specifically, and for things, I had never thought of before. I would highly recommend this book. At the end of each chapter, she has a specific prayer written out for the subject of that chapter. Here are the chapter titles so you can get an idea of what I am talking about. Releasing my child into God’s Hands, Securing Protection from Harm, Feeling Love and Protected, Establishing and Eternal Future, Honoring Parents and Resisting Rebellion, Maintaining Good Family Relationships. Attracting Godly Friends and Role Models, Developing a Hunger for the Things of God, Being the Person God Created, Following Truth & Rejecting Lies, Enjoying the Life of Health and Healing, Having the Motivation for Proper Body Care, Instilling the Desire to Learn, Identifying God-Given Gifts and Talents, Learning to Speak Life, Staying Attracted to Holiness and Purity, Praying through a Child’s Room, Enjoying Freedom of Fear, Receiving a Sound Mind, Inviting the Joy of the Lord, Destroying an Inheritance of Family Bondage, Avoiding Alcohol, Drugs, and Other Addictions, Rejecting Sexual Immorality, Finding the Perfect Mate, Living Free of Unforgiveness, Walking in Repentance, Breaking Down Ungodly Strongholds, Seeking Wisdom and Discernment, Growing in Faith, Getting Through the Teenage Years Successfully and Praying for Your Adult Children.
Did you hear any titles that took you by surprise? There were several that I would not ever have thought to pray about and yet when I did, I saw changes. One I can think of off the top of my head is the chapter on praying for my kids to have the motivation for proper body care. We had three teenage boys who weren’t that fond of showering, and with all the other issues we had going on in our house, this was the least of my worries. Yet, I didn’t want them to be the “smelly” kid in school. I wanted them to have friends, and that is difficult when you smell bad. Tony and I added this into our daily prayer for the boys for a bit and now they all take better care of their hygiene. I wouldn’t say they are where I want them to be, but they are doing much better and I didn’t have to nag them all the time. I just needed to pray for them. What specific prayers can you start saying to see changes in your kids?
Another suggestion I have received recently is to pray in my children’s rooms after they go to school. I was told to go into their room and bless it and to bind any spirits that might be there. You have authority over all spirits that are in your house. All Spirits, good and evil, are bound by our free will. If we tell them to leave, they must obey. Your prayer can be as simple as Lord, I bless this room, and I bind any evil spirits that might be here, and I send them to the foot of the cross. However, there is a prayer in the book I mentioned a few minutes ago for praying in your child’s room, and it is really good. You can part of it, or all of it depending on what fits for you. It says,
“Lord, I invite your Holy Spirit to dwell in this room, which belongs to (name of child). You are Lord over heaven and earth, and I proclaim that you are Lord over this room as well. Flood it with your light and life. Crowd out any darkness which seeks to impose itself here, and let no spirits of fear, depression, anger, doubt, anxiety, rebelliousness, or hatred (name anything you've seen manifested in your child's behavior) find any place here. I pray that nothing will come into this room that is not approved by you, Lord. If there is anything here that shouldn't be, show me it so it can be taken out. Put your complete protection over this room so the evil cannot enter here by any means. Fill this room with your love, peace, and joy. I pray that my child will say, as David did, "I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set nothing wicked before my eyes" (Psalm 103:2 to 3"). I pray that you, Lord, will make this room a holy place sanctified for your glory. In Jesus's name, I pray.” I forgot all about this prayer, and yet I am definitely going to start saying it tomorrow when my boys get on the bus. Actually I will probably start today in the room of my oldest because he will be at work later today.
Another suggestion was to fill a spray bottle with holy water and bless your whole house with it. We do this before each prayer group meeting. One of us walks through the hallway and the empty rooms of the building we are using, and we ask the Lord to bless the house. We bind any evil spirits that are hanging out and we send them the foot of the cross. We also ask the Lord to protect the space we are in and to prevent anything that is not of Him from entering while we are using that space. You can do this in your house, and you can do this in your children’s homes if they are older and have their own place.
You might be wondering why I am suggesting to bless your house with Holy Water. Holy Water is a powerful spiritual armor in times of temptation. St. Teresa of Avila, whose temptations were as terrible as anyone’s, has left us these wise words of counsel:
“I have found by experience that there is nothing from which the devils fly more quickly than from Holy Water. They also fly from the Cross, but they return almost immediately. Certainly, the power of Holy Water must be great; for my part, my soul feels particular comfort in taking it, and very generally a refreshment and interior delight which I cannot express.”
Long before St. Teresa of Avila, Holy Water was a sacramental in the Catholic Church. Water, which as a symbol of purification held a high place in biblical times, has retained its rich symbolism.
According to the Apostolic Constitutions, a document dating back well over 15 centuries, the use of holy water is attributed to a recommendation issued by St. Matthew, the apostle and Evangelist. The lives of the saints are packed with instances of heavenly protection and blessing secured through the reverent use of holy water. If you want more information on holy water, just let me know. If you are interested in blessing your house with Holy Water, you can go into any Catholic Church and fill up your spray bottle or any bottle with it. It is free and there for all to use.
The next suggestion that I just learned about, so I have not tried it yet, is to pray over our children’s pillows. When you are blessing their room, spend a minute praying over their pillow. Pray that the Lord grants them good dreams, speaks to them in their dreams, and encounters them in their dreams. Pray that the Lord protects them from nightmares and any evil thoughts. (SLIDE)
Another really important thing that the book talks about that I didn’t even think of before is to pray for our children to follow the truth and reject the lies. The enemy is constantly speaking lies over our children. He is whispering in their ears that they are unloved, they are unwanted, they are not enough and so on. We need to pray that they will reject these lies. We need to pray that the Lord will protect their mind from believing these lies. We need to pray that the lies others tell them will not take root. We need to pray that the Lord will fill their mind with who they are in His eyes. We need to pray that the Lord will replace any lies they believe with His truth of who they really are.
We also need to pray that they know how much God loves them. Everyone is searching for love these days, and I don’t think it is any different for kids. We live in a broken world, so even if we have parents who love us, they aren’t always great at showing it, and we aren’t always great at accepting it. Kids feel more alone than ever these days; even though we live in a world where kids have constant contact with each other, they don’t tend to have meaningful relationships with each other. Also, with all the constant contact that means those who are mean to you also have constant access to you. We need to pray that our kids can feel our love, but more importantly, we need to pray that they feel God’s love. God’s love is perfect. If they knew how much God loved them, they would have all the love they needed. We can pray that they know no matter what they do, God will always love them. We can pray that they know they don't have to do anything to earn His love; they already have it and will never lose it!
Most of the things we have covered so far are geared more towards our younger children who are still living at our house. Now I would like to give you a few ideas of how we can pray for our adult children. I am just entering this stage, so I am new to this. My oldest is an adult, however, he is living at home with us. Many of the things I talked about earlier in this session apply to our adult children as well. Meaning that we can pray for them to know God’s love; we can pray God protects their minds from the lies of the enemy and fills them with His truth. You can spray Holy Water and bless their house if they say it is ok or if you are there when they are not home. However, there are some things you can pray over your adult children that you don’t necessarily have to do for your young kids.
For instance, you can pray over your children’s marriages. You can pray that they are loving and caring spouses. You can pray they are faithful and help each other grow closer to the Lord. You can pray that the Lord is part of their marriage. You can pray for specific things that apply to your children. For instance, if your adult child has a bad temper, you can pray they learn to control their temper. You can pray that the Lord fills them with the peace of Christ. When you go over to their house to visit, before walking through the door, you can say a quick prayer imparting peace on them. Dear Lord, I impart peace on this house and all who are in it. If there is a lot of anger, frustration, and so on in this house, you could walk around the outside of the house and just impart peace on the house and all the land around it. God gave Adam dominion over all created things. This means you can pray for peace into their house; you can pray for peace into the soil around the house, and you can impart peace all around their house, inside and out.
You can also pray for your adult children’s jobs. Pray that they have a job they love, one that lights them up inside. Pray that they have a Godly boss and coworkers who encourage them on their faith journey. If they don’t seem to be on any faith journey, pray that they encounter someone at their job who waters the seed you have planted and helps it to take root and bear fruit. You can pray they have a good work ethic.
I read an article about praying for our adult children. The author talked about how she used to pray generally for her kids. However, now that she knows the Lord more, she realizes how intimately He cares about every detail of our lives and our children’s lives. Here are some of the specific ways we can pray for our adult children, especially if they have fallen away from God.
The article I read says letting our kids know we are praying for them is just as important as actually praying for them. The author states that it is important to be specific in letting them know how we are praying for them. Here is what the author said:
It is hard to see our adult children heading down the wrong path. Sometimes we can get discouraged and feel helpless. We can say things like, “All I can do now is pray.” Prayer is more powerful than anything else you were doing on your own. Prayer is the most powerful thing you can do. Once you enlist the help of God, you no longer have to worry because He is in control, and He will make sure they end up on the straight and narrow eventually. It is all in God’s time, not our own. God’s ways are not like our ways, and his thoughts are not like our thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8)
I have noticed more change in my boys once I started to stop nagging them all the time and worrying about them all the time and started praying more and going to God with my fears. Nagging will not change our children. Telling them what they are doing is wrong will also not change our children. I did not see real changes in my kids’ behaviors until I started leading more with love and prayers. When I could see they were acting out, I stopped punishing them so much and started loving them more. I came alongside them and let them know I understood how they were feeling. I let them know what they did was wrong and yet they are still good kids. I loved them no matter what they did. If they were doing things that scared me or I started to worry, I would bring it to God and pray about it. He would always calm my fears and assure me that all would be ok. You can do this too.
I know you are sure you know what is best for your children, just as I am sure I know best for mine. However, the truth is that only God knows what is best. Often times we let our fears get in the way of what we want for our kids. For instance, we don’t want them playing video games because it won’t lead to anything, and yet God could be using that gift your child has to invent the next best-selling video game. You think he or she is wasting time and yet God is preparing him or her in the same way He is preparing you for your destiny. Turn your kids over to the Lord. Give Him your worries. When you are afraid your kids are making a mistake, bring it to God first. If he wants you to bring it to their attention, He will let you know. If He doesn’t, then He will let you know that too. Take the time to stop and turn to God first. I bet if you do this one small thing you will see your relationships begin to change. I bet your kids will start to seek you out for advice because you listen to them and because you aren’t nagging them. God will prepare their hearts to hear what you have to say if He wants you to say it. He will also tell you how to say it if you ask Him. God is so good!
This Week’s Questions:
How can I best pray for my children this week?
What areas are you calling me to pray over for my children? Some ideas:
Releasing my child into God’s Hands, Securing Protection from Harm, Feeling Love and Protected, Establishing and Eternal Future, Honoring Parents and Resisting Rebellion, Maintaining Good Family Relationships. Attracting Godly Friends and Role Models, Developing a Hunger for the Things of God, Being the Person God Created, Following Truth & Rejecting Lies, Enjoying the Life of Health and Healing, Having the Motivation for Proper Body Care, Instilling the Desire to Learn, Identifying God-Given Gifts and Talents, Learning to Speak Life, Staying Attracted to Holiness and Purity, Praying through a Child’s Room, Enjoying Freedom of Fear, Receiving a Sound Mind, Inviting the Joy of the Lord, Destroying an Inheritance of Family Bondage, Avoiding Alcohol, Drugs, and Other Addictions, Rejecting Sexual Immorality, Finding the Perfect Mate, Living Free of Unforgiveness, Walking in Repentance, Breaking Down Ungodly Strongholds, Seeking Wisdom and Discernment, Growing in Faith, Getting Through the Teenage Years Successfully and Praying for Your Adult Children.
Which one of the following ways are you calling me to pray for my adult children this week? Some ideas:
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those here tonight and those who are watching the recording. Lord, we need your help with our children, no matter how young or old they are. Lord, help us to release our fears and worries to you. Help us to turn our children over to you for your protection. Lord, you love them more than we ever could. You see the whole picture of their life where we only see a small piece of it. Show us how to pray for them. Lead us in prayer Lord. Holy Spirit teach us to pray as we should. We love you Lord and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’s holy name, Amen!
Thank you for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. If you want more info on mentoring click here. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Remember Jesus loves you, and so do I! Have a blessed day.
Today's Word from the Lord was received in November 2023 by a member of the Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group during one of our meetings. For more information about the prayer group or these words please email CatholicCharismaticPrayerGroup@gmail.com. "I am pleased with all of you, my children, more than you might think. I am your God. I love you with a love that you can never begin to feel the depths of here on earth. But you will know me as I know you one day, and we will rejoice together. We will rejoice together to be in the presence of all the saints and angels."