Proverbs 18:2 “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” Today's episode talks about the dangers of airing our opinions every time we have one. It talks about the trouble we get into when we don't try to understand the other side. It challenges you to think before you speak, at least for one week. Music:"Adding the Sun" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
The Zip It Challenge
Proverbs 18:2 “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.”
The Proverbs is a great place to go if we want to get instructions on how to live a better life. It is full of really great advice on how to be a good person, how to be a good Christian. I have heard of people taking a month and studying one chapter of proverbs each day. There are exactly 31 chapters, so it works out nicely. A chapter in the Bible doesn’t usually take long to read. If you are looking for your next Bible study, or if you are wondering where to even begin in your Bible, consider reading through the Proverbs.
This verse in particular is a very good verse, especially in this day and age. Currently it seems as though everyone has an opinion and people share these opinions freely. Many are not interested in trying to understand what is actually going on they just want to shout their opinion from the roof tops. Did you know you don’t always have to say whatever comes into your mind? Did you know it is not your obligation to tell your opinion to everyone? Sometimes, many times, it is appropriate to think something and not say it out loud.
This is something I try to teach my children and actually my nephews too. There are far too many people these days who do not have a filter. Many of us have a filter and well we might think something unkind, we don’t say it out loud because we know it would only hurt others feelings. However, if we did’t have a filter we would say it out-loud, not necessarily meaning to be mean, and yet it hurts the person’s feelings anyway. If we all stopped to think about how what we were about to say was going to affect the person or people we were saying it too, we would have a lot less misunderstandings in the world. It doesn’t have to be a long time you sit and consider how it will make people feel. Just take a breath, before opening your mouth and ask yourself, “Will I be helping the situation if I say this?” You can also ask, “Am I adding value to the conversation by saying this?” Or, you can also ask, “Will I be hurting someone by giving this opinion?”
Sometimes we think we need to give our opinions whenever we have them, especially to our spouse and to our children. This isn’t always the case. If you child comes downstairs to go to school and they are wearing something that doesn’t match, or something you don’t like, you don’t have to give them your opinion. Did they ask for your opinion? If so, that’s great, feel free to give it. If they didn’t ask, hold your tongue. They like that outfit, or they wouldn’t have put it on. Your saying something probably won’t make them change, but it may make them self conscious that others may feel the same way. It may also cause them to doubt themselves. I know as parents, especially as moms, we want to save our children from any potential embarrassment. Yet, in doing this we often times wind up hurting their feelings, or getting them to question themselves. What if we didn’t say anything? What if we just built them up and let them wear what they wanted to school?
This isn’t just about school either. That was one example but you can substitute they clothes they are wearing for any other argument you might be having with your kids these days. I wonder what the world would be like if we all paused and considered the ramifications of saying whatever it is we want to say? I wonder what the world would be like if we all realized we didn’t have to say every thought that comes into our heard? There is a challenge I learned about in Big Life Mentoring. It is from a book called Zip It The Keep it shut 40 day challenge by Karen Ehman.
Here is the description of the book: We use our words everywhere: with family members, coworkers, the stranger in the store—even the words we text or post online. Our daily words can impact our relationships for better—or for worse. (Been there. Said that. Wish you could take it back. Can you relate?)
Karen Ehman’s 40-day devotional challenge Zip It—based on her New York Times best-seller Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All—offers practical ways to use our words to build, not to break; to bless, not to badger; to encourage, not to embitter; to praise, not to pounce.”
I have not read this book, or her first book, although they both sound like something I should check out. Her book also has scripture verse fro each day of the challenge. It is more of a devotional to learn to hold our tongues. “Zip It covers eight major topics: taming our tempers, sarcasm, gossip, gracious speech, sweet and salty language, asking for forgiveness, whether to speak up or remain silent, and how God’s word can alter our words.”
The reason I mention this book and this challenge is because I know people who have made it a goal of their’s to not say any negative things for 30 days. I know others who have decided to not nag their loved ones for 30 days. They stop and think, before giving their opinion, will this matter in 5 years? The thing you are about to correct, will it matter in 5 years? Is it something that needs to be said? Do they need to hear your opinion, or can you zip it and let it go? What would your relationships be like with your loved ones if you zipped it more? How would your relationship with your spouse be different if you didn’t tell them every time you didn’t like something they did? How would your relationship with your children be if you didn’t tell them every time you disapproved of something they did? I’m not just talking about little children either. Many of you have adult children. How would your relationship change if you decided not to say every criticism that came into your heard? If you decided not to tell them how you think they should live their life? Honestly, take a moment and think about how things in that relationship might be different.
This verse had two parts two it. It says, “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” We talked about airing our own opinions, I just want to take a minute to address the understanding piece of this verse. We will not always agree with everyone we may meet. We may not even agree with everyone in our family or those who live in our house. That is ok. We don’t have to all agree on everything. However, it is important to try to understand where the other person is coming from. This country is so divided right now and so many people don’t even want to try to understand the other side of what they believe. I have heard this quote, I am not sure who said it. The quote is, “Peace is not when everyone agrees. It is when we can respect our disagreements and still play in the sandbox together.” We don’t have to all be on the same page. However, can we calmly listen to the other person and try to understand where they are coming from? Can we calmly talk through our differences? Can we respect each other enough to at least try to understand what the other side is saying? So much strife comes from misunderstanding. We are not taking the time to fully understand what someone is saying and we get so angry at the mere idea of what they might be saying. However, when we take the time to fully understand it we realize they have a point. Maybe not one we can agree with or get behind, but at least we understand where they are coming from.
This verse tells us if we are not going to try to gain an understanding we are fools. It also says we should not take delight in airing our own opinions all the time. We don’t want to be fools, we want to be wise. I challenge you to think about your comments this week. Did that comment you just said need to be said? Did it make them feel better about themselves, or worse? Can you stop and think before you say something and ask yourself if it needs to be said? I know you will see positive changes in your life if you can learn to let the negative comments and criticisms go without voicing them out loud. Give it a try, what have you got to lose?
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening to this episode today. Lord, help us to control our tongue. Open our hearts and minds to a greater understanding of those things we disagree with. Help us to not reject things without first understanding them. Help us to think before opening our lips. Help us to use the filter you gave us to not just say whatever comes to our minds. Help us to see others through your eyes oh Lord. We love you Lord, you are truly remarkable and we are so grateful for you. We ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’ holy name, Amen!
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. Have a blessed day!