In this episode, I share two powerful experiences with the Holy Spirit. The first is from a retreat where I asked to feel His presence and saw a bright light, knowing He was with me. Years later, I experienced that same light even more fully, showing how my relationship with Him had grown. I also share how the Holy Spirit pushed me out of my comfort zone to pray for a stranger, reminding us that even when we feel unworthy or afraid, God equips us when we say yes. We have all seen God working in our lives. However, maybe not everyone is aware that it is God who is working within us. That’s why it’s so important for us to start talking more about it. The more we share our experiences, the more people will understand how God acts and how much He truly loves us. If you’re willing to share an experience of how God has worked or is working in your life, please send me an email at catherine@findingtruenorthcoaching.com or click here. It won’t take much of your time, and your story could be just what someone needs to hear today. Consider praying and sharing. We all have a story, and the world needs to hear it. Music: "Adding the Sun" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Today I want to witness to you about a really cool experience I had with the Holy Spirit. I was at a retreat, and I was new to going on retreats. This was one of the first ones I went on. I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I was also pretty new to Eucharistic Adoration. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do during adoration. I had heard people at the retreat say that they could feel the Holy Spirit at the retreat. I didn’t know what they were talking about. I wanted to feel the Holy Spirit, too. When I went to Adoration, I asked God to help me feel the Holy Spirit. I asked Him if He could do something so I would know that the Holy Spirit was actually there with me. I asked God this, and then I just sat for a few minutes and waited. I sat expectantly waiting for something to happen, but not really knowing what would happen. I closed my eyes, and a bright white dot of light appeared. My eyes were closed, but I could see this bright dot of light dancing around, almost as if it were on the back of my eyelids. I was afraid to open my eyes because I didn’t want it to leave. I knew this was the answer to my prayers. I knew that light was the Holy Spirit showing me that He was there with me. I can’t really explain how I knew; I just knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was the Holy Spirit. This happened about 10 years ago. I have thought about it since then, but not too often. Last Thursday night, I was at a Conference put on by Encounter Ministries. It was an amazing conference, and the Holy Spirit was definitely there. There was a time on Thursday evening when we had a talk about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. We had prayed, we worshiped, and then we called the Holy Spirit to come down upon all of us. When I was sitting in the pew, I closed my eyes, and instead of seeing a bright white dot of light, my whole vision was filled with that same blinding light. I felt like my body was full of that light. The Holy Spirit reminded me of that time back at that first retreat, and I felt as though He was telling me, " See how far we have come. I started as a small light inside of you, and my light is filling you up. It was such an amazing feeling. I was filled with so much joy, and love.
The other time I wanted to talk with you about today is when the Holy Spirit asked me to step way outside of my comfort zone. I am an extrovert. I love to be around people. Being around people fills my soul with joy. At the same time, I am shy. I do not like to walk up to people I don’t know and talk to them. I am always self-conscious and think, what if they reject me? What if they don’t want to talk to me? What if I am bothering them? I get super nervous, and when I get nervous sometimes, oftentimes, I cry. I am not sad, I am just so nervous I cry. Then I feel dumb for crying, and so I cry more. I don’t know if some of you relate to this or not, but it is something that is true for me. I decided about three or four years ago that I wanted to go on a retreat. I hadn’t been on one in a little while and I felt I needed it. I looked online one day and found out there was a silent retreat the very next weekend. I was so excited. It felt like it was meant to be, as what are the odds that I would look right then and find one that was coming up so soon and was so close. When I arrived, we had a quick meeting to meet the other people on the retreat and meet our advisors, and then we went silent. The only time we could talk was at our meeting with the spiritual advisor we were assigned once or twice that weekend.
At this initial meeting, we all told why we were there and a little about ourselves. There was a man there who was suffering from some illness, and if I remember correctly, they weren’t sure what it was. I think his wife was sick too. I just remember feeling bad that he was sick. Before going on this retreat, I had been to a life in the spirit seminar and had been attending a charismatic prayer group. I had a baptism in the Holy Spirit, but at this point, I could not speak in tongues. While I was out for a walk on the grounds, I was having a talk with God about how I couldn’t speak in tongues. I was explaining to God how I wanted this gift, I was open to it, and so I didn’t understand why I hadn’t received it yet. Then I heard God say, well, not heard like heard His voice, but heard in my soul, “It’s not me, it’s you.” I instantly knew what God was saying. I understood that He was saying He wasn’t keeping me from receiving this gift; I was keeping myself from it because I didn’t believe I was good enough to receive it. I was thinking, "Why would He give the gift to me?" and He was saying, "Why wouldn’t I?” Once I realized I was the one holding myself back, I finally submitted and accepted that God wanted to give me this gift, even if I wasn’t good enough for it. We are worthy of the gifts of the Spirit not because of anything we have done, but we are worthy because of what Jesus did for us on the cross. I went to the chapel at the retreat center, started praying, and received the gift of tongues. I was so happy. Later that night, I was reading a book, and I felt the Holy Spirit tell me I needed to pray for the guy who was sick. I instantly answered with a no. You know me, I don’t just walk up to people and ask them if I can pray over them. I know lots of people who do that, but I don’t. The Holy Spirit was not letting me off the hook. I tried to explain that I couldn’t talk; it was a silent retreat, and it just wasn’t going to work. But then the Holy Spirit reminded me we could talk after mass on Sunday, before we left. Once I realized that the feeling I needed to pray over this man wasn’t going away, I started to pray. I explained to God, like He didn’t already know, that I was really afraid to just go up to people and ask them if I could pray over them. What if they said no? Then I would feel dumb, probably start to cry, and be embarrassed. As you can imagine, God already knew this, so He wasn’t swayed. I explained to God that if He wanted me to do this, I would try, I really would, but He was going to have to give me some extraordinary courage, and He was going to have to arrange a meeting that was somewhat natural. Meaning we would have to run into each other when it was appropriate. For instance, I couldn’t interrupt the mass to do it. Writing this for you now, I can see how silly this sounds. How silly it is for me to be telling God exactly what I need, like he doesn’t already know, but this is what I did.
The next day was Sunday. I went to church, and it was a weird feeling because I wanted to run into this man, and I didn’t at the same time. I really wanted to pray over him, but I didn’t want the awkwardness of asking him. Also, I was new to praying over people, and I didn’t want to screw it up. I was walking down the hallway, and I saw the man. It was the perfect setup, right? I mean, with God orchestrating things, how could it not be? So I went up to the man and asked if I could pray over him, or that is what I wish I had done. But I didn’t. I walked right past him, I walked into the restroom, and I had a little chat with God. Ok, I am sorry. I know that was the perfect chance, and I blew it. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t. If you give me another chance, I will try again. Later, after lunch, we were all getting ready to go, and I saw the man in a different hallway, and we were alone. I said, “I know this may sound weird, but I really feel as if the Holy Spirit wants me to pray over you. Would you mind?” He was very nice and said he didn’t mind. I started to pray over him, and of course, I started to cry because I was so nervous. He felt bad that I was crying and told me not to worry, it wasn’t as if he was dying. I felt silly for crying as I wasn’t sad; I was just nervous. However, I was happy that I had done what the Holy Spirit asked me to do, and I knew the next time I said yes, it would be a little easier. I still struggle when the Holy Spirit asks me to pray over people I don’t know, and I still have times when I argue and try to convince the Holy Spirit that I am not the right one for the job. However, I am growing and learning and getting stronger, and as I always say, God is looking for progress, not perfection. I believe He remembers the times I said yes more than the times I said no.
I hope by sharing this witness, you will see if you ask the Holy Spirit to show up, He will show up. Also, although the Holy Spirit may ask you to step outside your comfort zone, He will always be right there with you and give you the strength and boldness you need to do what He is asking. All we need to do is say yes, and He will take care of the rest.